


Red-tags only

by darkmoore



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Accidentally mating for life, Alternate Universe, Barebacking, Blow Jobs, Lifebonds, M/M, Mating Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-06-22 18:47:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15588363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkmoore/pseuds/darkmoore
Summary: Rafael Barba's plans of spending an evening of no strings-attached sex with another red-tag go slightly awry. The night is nothing like he expected and the morning holds an even bigger surprise.





	Red-tags only

**Author's Note:**

> This story was written for the "wild card" (Accidentally mating for life) square of my h/c BINGO card. Thanks go to [Brumeier](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brumeier/pseuds/Brumeier) for being a fantastic beta and even more amazing friend, and to my "support team" over at the Discord. Couldn't have done it without you, Ladies.

Rafael looked down at his cellphone again, staring thoughtfully at the notification he’d received a few days ago. Forlini’s was hosting a ‘red-tag-only’ party that night and Rafael wondered if it would be worth going. They could have called it a “fuck-without-risking-a-life-bond” party as well, but Rafael figured that was a mouthful. He hadn’t been to one in ages, not for at least fifteen years, but somehow the prospect of _not_ risking ending up mated for life had been more appealing when young. Nowadays Rafael felt disheartened by the fact that he likely wouldn’t find a compatible mate in his lifetime. 

On the other hand, he needed to get out of his apartment, out of his own head, and stop brooding and maybe a night of no-strings-attached sex would accomplish just that. His blood test was up to date, a hotel room could be booked at short notice, and he had nowhere else to be, so why not? 

Having come to a decision, Rafael headed for the shower. He wanted to look his best when he tried to pick up someone for casual sex. It would be fun. At least that’s what Rafael tried to convince himself.

* * *

Forlini’s was packed when Rafael arrived, showing his ID with the red dot on it in the upper left corner to prove he was eligible. No yellow or green tags would be allowed in tonight, which was as much a safety measure as it was a show of support. After all, red tags were the unfortunate ones. The ones who most likely would never experience the perfection that was a mating bond. 

Drink in hand, Rafael slowly moved through the throng of people, highly aware of countless eyes sizing him up, watching him, checking him out. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t expected but to his surprise it wasn’t something he enjoyed anymore, either. Maybe his red-tag-party days truly were over. 

Just when Rafael was about to give up, call it a night, go back home and forget his pathetic attempt at hooking up with someone, a person he hadn’t expected to see caught his eye. Peter Stone was sitting alone in one of the smaller booths, a near scowl on his face, hands wrapped around his drink. He looked like he wasn’t having a lot of fun, either. 

“Stone,” Rafael greeted, as he stepped up to the table. “What are you doing here?” 

Stone looked up at him, raised an eyebrow and replied, “What’s it look like, Barba? It’s a red-tag-only party. Don’t tell me you’re only here because of the ambience.” He gestured at the spot across from himself. “Have a seat.”

Rafael hesitated for a second but then decided talking to Stone for a moment couldn’t hurt. Despite the almost awkward silence between then. 

“I meant to call you,” Stone finally said. “I wanted to apologize for-”

“Don’t,” Rafael interrupted him. “You were only doing your job. I would’ve done the same thing.” Rafael meant it. There were no hard feelings towards Stone. Rafael knew he was a good man; an honorable man. 

When Stone just stared at him in surprise, Rafael smirked. “I mean it. We’re good. Don’t worry about it.” 

“All right, if you say so,” Stone said, inclining his head. He grinned at Rafael. “So you’re a red-tag too, huh? Who would have thought.”

Rafael rolled his eyes at him, “Yes, huge surprise that it’s not just my charming personality that has kept me from finding my mate.”

Stone laughed. “Fair enough. I guess I never thought about it, to be honest. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I won’t find a mate, ever. Not with a .1 specification rate. Mind if I ask which one it is for you? Specification rate or are you just lacking some _Midi Chlorians_ all over?”

“ _Midi Chlorians_?” Rafael asked and chuckled. “Did you just make a _Star Wars_ reference? I’m shocked, Counselor!” As Rafael watched, Stone seemed to relax in degrees, grinning at him mischievously.

“Oh please. Those films don’t deserve to be counted to the Star Wars universe. They’re a disgrace. And you didn’t answer my question.” 

“No, I didn’t,” Rafael agreed. “But it’s specification rate for me, too. My compatibility rate is so low it barely registered.”

Stone nodded. “Sucks,” he said quietly, and gave Rafael a rueful smile.

Rafael didn’t comment. He didn’t want to talk about the fact that, while he had enjoyed being a red-tag in his youth, by now he really hated it. He’d gladly trade the hassle greens and yellows had to go through – avoiding certain professions, storing their own blood for emergencies so they wouldn’t accidentally get life bonded to their blood donor because blood was just another bodily fluid– for the chance at finding his mate. 

They stayed quiet for a moment before Stone visibly pulled himself together and asked, “So, what are you up to nowadays? What are your plans?”

Rafael gave him his patented ‘you’re an idiot and I’m not amused’- look. “You mean after I flushed my career down the toilet and you got my job?” 

“Ouch, sorry,” Stone said and flinched. “I didn’t mean to-”

“Listen, Peter are we gonna do this or not?” Rafael interrupted Stone’s apology. He’d had enough of polite conversation and beating around the bush. Stone had come to Forlini’s for the same reason as everyone else – to find someone he could have sex with. Rafael wouldn’t mind being the person he ended up having sex with. 

Stone’s eyebrows rose towards his hairline. “Just like that?” he asked, clearly thrown by Rafael’s forward approach. 

“You said it yourself. This is what red-tag-only parties are about. Unless _you’re_ here for the ambience.” Rafael looked at him expectantly. 

“No, of course not. Let’s go. I have a hotel room nearby, we can discuss details there. Will that work?” Stone finished his drink and stood. 

Rafael stood as well. “Lead the way.”

* * *

The hotel room was nice, the sheets crisp and white, and the room temperature exactly right. Rafael slipped off his jacket and placed it over the back of a chair, then reached into the inner pocket to retrieve the results of his bloodwork. He didn’t know if Stone wanted to see them or if he would trust his word, but it would be good to have them anyway. 

“Another drink?” Stone asked as he slipped out of his own jacket. 

“No thanks, I want to be sober for this,” Rafael replied, and watched Stone, no, _Peter_ , toe off his shoes. Rafael thought they should probably use first names if they were about to fuck. 

A soft smile played around Peter’s lips as he walked over to Rafael, crowding him a little. “So, how do you want to do this?” he asked, voice dropping low. 

“Hmm, depends. I’d love for you to fuck me, but if you have other ideas, let’s hear them.” Rafael settled his hands on Peter’s hips and tugged him closer, rubbing against him. 

“I can fuck you,” Peter agreed. “And I’d like to taste you,” he whispered as he leaned in close, breath ghosting over Rafael’s neck. “Find out how often we can make each other come tonight.” Peter’s mouth was right at the shell of Rafael’s ear, sending shivers down his spine. 

“I think you’re forgetting that I’m ten yours older than you,” Rafael reminded him. 

“Doesn’t matter,” Peter replied, and bit lightly at the lobe of Rafael’s ear. Rafael shuddered. He hadn’t expected that such small contact would have such a strong effect on him. It felt like suddenly his ear was directly connected to his cock. The feeling of Peter’s tongue sent jolts of electricity through Rafael and he gasped. 

“Then we should probably lose the clothes,” Rafael said. He slipped his hands underneath the hem of Peter’s knit sweater, eager to get to the warm skin beneath. Peter sucked in a breath as Rafael raked his nails lightly over Peter’s back, raising gooseflesh. 

Peter let go of Rafael for a second, grabbed hold of his own sweater, and pulled it over his head. He tossed it onto one of the chairs and then reached for Rafael again. 

For a second, Rafael was stunned. He’d known Peter would be beautiful, had caught glimpses of hard muscles and a toned, lean body when Peter moved, the fabric of his sweater pulling tight across his chest. But he hadn’t been prepared for this kind of perfection. Hesitantly, Rafael touched his hands to Peter’s abs before slowly sliding them up to his pectorals, thumbs grazing his nipples. 

“Jesus, look at you,” Rafael whispered. He was completely mesmerized by the sight in front of him. What he hadn’t expected was Peter’s reaction. 

Peter took a step back, gaze dropping to the floor. “Please don’t do that. Don’t make this about looks,” he said quietly. “I know that tonight is all about having some fun, but I’d prefer it if you didn’t ...” He broke off, pushing his hands though his hair. “I’ve been reduced to nothing but a body to fuck more times than I care to count. Most of the time that wasn’t my choice. Being an athlete and red-tag apparently gives a lot of people the wrong impression about me. So I’d appreciate it if we didn’t discuss aspects of my supposed ‘physical beauty’.” 

“Hm, I wasn’t planning on lengthy discussions tonight,” Rafael said, and stepped a little closer to Peter again. He searched Peter’s eyes before putting his hands back onto Peter’s bare chest. “I know we don’t know each other well, Peter, but trust me, if I’d just wanted a pretty body to fuck I could have had my pick of the men at the party. It’s not what I’m interested in. Not even for a one-off.”

Peter looked thoughtful. “That why you came over to me? Because I’m not a complete stranger?” 

Rafael almost rolled his eyes at him. “Despite the popular opinion that a low IQ somehow makes for a good sex partner, I’ve found the opposite to be the case. I like you, Peter, believe it or not. It was gonna be you or no-one tonight.” There, he’d said it. “If it helps, your brains are much more of a turn on than the shape of your body. Now, if we’re done discussing how I ended up at your table-” Rafael gave Peter a look that said ‘make up your mind, but do it quickly.’

Peter grinned. 

“That’s not what I expected you to say, but fair enough.” He cupped the nape of Rafael’s neck and leaned in close until their lips were almost touching. “My brain, huh?” he asked, amusement and warmth in his voice. “You’re full of surprises, _Rafael_.” 

There was a strange, fluttering sensation in the pit of Rafael’s stomach at the sound of his given name. It startled Rafael a bit because that wasn’t something that had ever happened before. Sure, he’d had his share of one-night stands, had been to a whole lot of red-tag-only parties in his youth. But it had always been strictly physical, and Rafael had never spared his bed partners another thought afterwards. So what was different this time?

“Well, I hate to be predictable,” Rafael replied, and he sounded way more breathless than he had intended to. Damn, Peter was getting under his skin. This wasn’t going even remotely as planned. He shouldn’t be feeling anything but lust and the urge to fuck each other’s brains out. Instead, the glimpse of insight Rafael inadvertently gained about Peter had somehow shifted the mood. In the dim light of the room with Peter half-naked while Rafael himself was still dressed, there seemed to be a strange kind of vulnerability about Peter, one that was getting to Rafael in all new, torturous ways. 

What the fuck? 

Peter smiled, a gentle curl of lips that Rafael could feel against his skin when Peter nosed his cheek a little. “Can I kiss you?” he asked, clearly aware of the fact that their arrangement was about sex, not affection, and not everyone seeking out a night of fun would be okay with the intimacy of a real kiss. 

“I don’t know. Can you?” Rafael teased, unable to help himself. “I won’t judge if it takes you a couple of tries to get it right.” 

Peter chuckled and then he claimed Rafael’s mouth, biting roughly at his lower lip. His hands landed on Rafael’s hips and pulled until they were pressed against each other from shoulder to toes. Peter ground their hips together once before loosening his grip and reaching for the hem of Rafael’s sweater. 

Rafael leaned back slightly to give Peter room to undress him, but Peter first searched his eyes for permission before he finally pulled the sweater off of Rafael. He tossed it on the desk behind them where Rafael had put the envelope that held his blood test results. Peter leaned down and started to trail kisses from Rafael’s collarbone to the side of his neck, and Rafael could barely suppress his groan at the electrifying touch. Peter was setting his skin on fire and Rafael was so hard it almost hurt, despite them just getting started. 

“How about you get naked and get on the bed while I go get some supplies?” Peter suggested after a moment. 

“I can do that,” Rafael agreed. But before Peter could step away Rafael leaned forward and flicked his tongue over one of Peter’s nipples. Turnabout was fair play after all. Peter groaned, and his eyes fell shut as a shudder ran through him. He took a deep breath and visibly pulled himself together before stepping away and walking over to the bathroom. 

“Looks like you don’t only play dirty in the courtroom,” Peter threw over his shoulder, and despite the fact that it should have hurt, being reminded of what he had lost, Rafael found himself smiling. 

“Oh, but that’s where you’re mistaken, Peter. I never _play_. I’m dead serious.” Rafael walked over to the bed, took off his shoes, socks, and pants along with his underwear, and sat on the edge of the bed, legs spread, hard cock on full display. He knew exactly what he looked like as he leaned back on his elbows, spread out for Peter like an all-you-can-eat buffet. 

Peter appeared in the doorway of the bathroom, dressed in nothing but black boxer briefs that left very little to the imagination. He was fully hard and, by the looks of it, deliciously thick. Rafael had always preferred girth to length, and he couldn’t wait to have Peter fuck him. 

“Rafael?” 

Peter’s voice finally registered, and Rafael realized he had been staring rather blatantly at Peter’s crotch. “Yes, sorry, you were saying?” Rafael asked, willing himself to be calm and not fidget. He had nothing to be ashamed of. Peter was looking at him at him much the same way, after all. 

“I asked if you wanted to see the results of my blood test. I assume we’re not gonna need condoms?” Peter held up a foil packet and Rafael smirked. It was pretty much standard procedure to bring your blood test results to a red-tag only party, assuming that whoever you hooked up with would want to ditch the latex as well. 

“No, on both counts. I trust you. But if you want to see my test results, they’re on the table.” Rafael pointed to where he had placed the envelope. “No latex. What’s the point in going for another red-tag if not to ditch the condom?” Rafael smirked at the satisfied grin that spread across Peter’s face. He sat up a little and started to jack himself. “You gonna join me anytime soon?”

Peter tossed the condom somewhere inside the bathroom and switched off the light behind himself. “I was planning on it, yes,” he said, voice low. “And just so you know, I trust you, too.”

For some reason everything about this – the conversation, the interactions with Peter, the whole damn night – seemed to be ever so slightly off. Rafael tried to shake the feeling but couldn’t quite manage it. He’d never just taken anyone’s word for face value when it came to STDs and staying safe when not using condoms. He’d never had anyone trust him, either. 

Of course, those people hadn’t known him, hadn’t dealt with him before, any more than he had known them. But was Stone really all that different? Did he actually have reason to trust the guy? And why would Stone trust him? 

“You change your mind?” Peter asked quietly, an unreadable expression on his face. He dropped the tube of lube he’d fetched from the bathroom right next to Rafael’s hip.

“Does this look like I’ve changed my mind?” Rafael challenged and cocked an eyebrow as he sped up the movement of his hand. 

Peter smiled at him gently and sank to his knees between Rafael’s spread legs. The strange, _off_ thing was back, and Rafael’s stomach did a somersault at the look on Peter’s face. This was supposed to be a no-strings-attached night of fucking each other’s brains out. Peter had no business looking at him like that. 

“I’m just making sure we’re still on the same page,” Peter said quietly, and ran his hands slowly up Rafael’s thighs. The touch was electrifying in a way Rafael was sure he had never felt before. It was as if Peter’s fingertips left a burning, tingling trail all over his skin.

Peter’s hand wrapped around Rafael’s wrist, stilling his movements. “Let me, please? I want to taste you so badly.” He looked at Rafael, the request for permission as clearly visible on his face as it had been voiced. Rafael briefly wondered if ending up ‘just a body to fuck’ had been an understatement on Peter’s part, considering how insistent he was on clearly voiced consent. 

“Go ahead. Believe me, I’m perfectly capable of stopping you if I don’t like something.” Rafael wanted to sound sharp instead of breathless, but somehow failed. When Peter released his wrist, he leaned back onto his elbows again and watched what would happen next. 

Peter didn’t waste any time at all. He took hold of Rafael’s cock and slowly sucked him in, all the way down to the root. Rafael was caught off guard by Peter instantly deepthroating him and groaned, hands balling into fists in the sheets. It felt so damn good. 

The smug little smile that curled around Peter’s mouth when he pulled off of Rafael a moment later was completely justified in Rafael’s opinion; dammit that man was good at giving head. His thoughts must have been clearly visible on his face because Peter outright grinned at him, before wrapping his lips around the head of Rafael’s cock again, sucking gently. 

Rafael let his eyes fall closed and dropped back onto the bed completely as Peter worked his magic. His tongue teased the underside of Rafael’s cock right beneath the head, sending sparks of arousal through him. Rafael was reasonably sure he was leaking like a sieve by now, but Peter just kept sucking and tonguing the slit, seemingly chasing the next taste of Rafael. It was a weirdly satisfying thought. 

For a few more moments Rafael allowed himself to get lost in the sensations of Peter giving him one of the best blowjobs of his life, before he pushed himself up a little and cupped Peter’s neck, coaxing him into looking up. “Peter, you gotta stop or this will be over before you even got to fuck me properly.”

Peter smiled at him and rose, giving Rafael a good look at his boxer-clad erection, the fabric clinging to Peter’s cock in a large, damp patch. It was obvious that Peter had enjoyed sucking Rafael as much as Rafael had enjoyed it himself. Quickly, Rafael sat up and ran his hands up Peter’s legs until they rested against his hips. He tugged on Peter’s hips slightly and Peter obliged, stepping closer to the bed until Rafael could lean forward and press his face against Peter’s erection, breathing him in. 

Another wave of heat raced through Rafael, curling in his stomach, as he slipped his fingertips beneath the elastic of Peter’s shorts. This time it was Rafael’s turn to look up for permission, before slowly pulling down the boxers that separated him from getting to the warm skin beneath. Peter’s scent made his mouth water, the heat emitting from his body seemed to be addictive, and Rafael quickly licked a stripe up Peter’s cock, getting a first taste of him. 

Sparks seemed to race across Rafael’s skin as he sucked on the head of Peter’s cock. Peter’s hand slipped into Rafael’s hair, a gentle caress, but his breath came quicker and harsher; it sounded loud in the otherwise quiet room. 

“Rafael, stop. I’m way too close myself to take this right now.” Peter sounded apologetic, but the look on his face was so full of lust and want that Rafael’s breath caught in his throat and he swallowed hard. His whole body seemed to be sparking with static electricity, his skin tingling everywhere they touched. It was a heady feeling. 

“Then hurry up and fuck me,” Rafael said as he moved back from Peter’s cock. It was exactly as thick and perfect as Rafael had hoped. It had been a long time since Rafael had allowed anyone to fuck him, preferring to top rather than make himself vulnerable in even the slightest way. Rafael wasn’t someone who trusted easily yet giving up control to Peter seemed to be one of the easiest things Rafael had ever done. As if something inside of him knew that Peter wouldn’t take advantage. That his trust wouldn’t be betrayed. 

Briefly Rafael wondered what was happening between them. What it was about this night that was so different from all the other one-offs he’d had in the past. He felt like Alice who had fallen down the rabbit hole, only Rafael had emerged in a world where trusting a perfect stranger was as easy as breathing, and the hard, angled lines of Peter’s body spoke of vulnerability rather than the cold arrogance everyone else seemed to see. It seriously screwed with Rafael’s head. 

Peter reached for the lube and broke the seal, before glancing back at Rafael. “How do you want me? Behind you or-?” He broke off, sounding hesitant. It wasn’t unusual for these red tag hook-ups to just fuck and make it as impersonal as possible, turned away from each other; just another body in another hotel room. Scratching an itch. Fucking for the sake of fucking. 

“If that’s what you prefer,” Rafael answered, voice carefully neutral. “But I think I’d also enjoy watching you. See you come. Besides, I think you still need some practice with that kiss,” he teased and pushed himself further onto the bed until he was lying in the middle, arms spread wide, legs falling open. “Biting at my lips hardly counts as proper kissing.” 

Peter chuckled and climbed onto the bed. He lowered himself carefully on top of Rafael without putting all of his weight on him. Instead, Peter held himself up on his elbows and dipped his head to kiss Rafael again. This time the kiss was gentle and languid, the slow, thorough exploration of his mouth a stark contrast to the needy grind of Peter’s hips against his own that rubbed their cocks together. 

Rafael ran his hands down Peter’s back and scratched lightly, prompting gooseflesh to spring up all over Peter’s body. Peter gasped into their kiss, muscles shifting under Rafael’s fingertips as he pressed his cock harder against Rafael’s own. 

The feeling of actual sparks, of tingling fire across his skin, was back and Rafael enjoyed the heady rush of heat and sex and the physical closeness with another human being. He couldn’t remember when he’d last felt that desperate for connection, that _skin hungry_. Possibly never. Peter was getting under Rafael’s skin in a way he hadn’t quite anticipated. 

“Fuck me, Peter. Now,” Rafael panted as the arousal in his body just built and built, curling around his spine in a warning tingle that spoke of impending orgasm. “I’m too close. Come on, hurry.” 

Peter chuckled low next to Rafael’s ear and it was almost Rafael’s undoing. “Sounds like I’m doing something right after all.” Peter’s voice was full of amusement and affection. 

“Not if you want to get inside of me before I come,” Rafael said, and reached for his own cock when Peter’s weight lifted off of him. He squeezed the base, hard, until he wasn’t feeling quite as on-edge anymore, and took a few deep breaths. It was ridiculous how much Peter turned him on. 

“Up!” Peter tapped against Rafael’s upper thigh and shoved the huge, fluffy pillow he had grabbed from the head of the bed underneath Rafael’s ass. It felt a little ridiculous, but Rafael also had to admit that it was way better than just getting his legs shoved up against his chest or having to hike them up over Peter’s shoulders – he wasn’t as young as he used to be, and sex-related injuries were incredibly embarrassing. 

“Tilt your hips for me a little,” Peter said as his left hand ran up Rafael’s thigh in a gentle caress. Rafael complied and in the next moment he could feel Peter’s fingers, wet with lube, rubbing over his entrance. It felt good and Rafael relaxed, enjoying the way Peter teased him before finally pushing one finger in. Rafael’s back arched. It had been way too long since he’d had a cock up his ass and Rafael briefly wondered just how sore he’d be come morning, but decided he didn’t care. He wanted to feel Peter’s thick cock filling him, stretching him, needed the delicious burn of a truly spectacular fuck. 

Peter’s finger spread lube inside Rafael and, after a while, Peter added another finger. There was a stretch already and Rafael melted into it, willing his body to accept the prep Peter was so gently treating him to. Peter’s breathing had quickened, his skin glistening with a fine sheen of sweat as he curled his fingers inside of Rafael’s body in a way that made him see stars. 

“I hate to sound like a cliché, but you’re awfully tight,” Peter said quietly. It was clear that he was as turned on by this as Rafael was, yet he held back, conscious of the fact that Rafael’s body wasn’t ready to be entered quite yet. “When’s the last time you bottomed?” 

Rafael hadn’t expected that question. He’d assumed Peter would tactfully ignore it and move on. “It’s been a while,” Rafael admitted. He hoped that Peter would be satisfied with that answer but at the look rushing over Peter’s face, he knew he wasn’t going to be that lucky. 

“Define ‘a while’ for me.” More lube was added to Peter’s fingers before he tucked a third finger against the previous two and carefully worked them into Rafael’s body. 

Rafael sighed. “Five years, maybe six, since I last let anyone fuck me. I’m usually the one topping.” The admission didn’t come easily, mainly because Rafael was worried Peter would ask why he’d get to fuck him when usually it would have been the other way around. And truth be told, Rafael didn’t have an answer to that. When he had gone out to get laid at that red-tag-only party he’d absolutely intended to top or walk away. But the moment it had become clear that he would be leaving with Peter that plan had gone out of the window.

Question was, why? 

Rafael watched Peter process what he had learned, and he could practically see the questions forming in Peter’s mind. The ‘are you sure you really want to do this?’ The ‘why would you let me top when you’ve avoided that for so long?’ The ‘we can trade places if you like and you can top’. The ‘I don’t want you to regret this in the morning when I’ve fucked you sore and you can barely move’. Rafael didn’t want to hear any of them. Or answer any of them.

“Don’t,” Rafael said, preventing Peter from speaking. “I told you I’m perfectly capable of telling you ‘no’ and I meant it. I want this. I want you to fuck me. Trust me, I won’t break. And I don’t mind being a little sore, either.” Rafael fixed Peter with his gaze, willing him to believe, willing him to _understand_. 

“All right,” Peter agreed. He spread the last of the lube from his hand over his own, hard cock, and then wiped his hand on one of the tissues from the box on the bedside table. “Let me know if you need me to slow down or stop. I mean it, Rafael. Inflicting pain on my sex-partner is a serious turn off for me. Let’s make sure we both enjoy ourselves, okay?” 

Rafael rolled his eyes at him and huffed. “Yes, could you now please get on with it? I’m not getting any younger here.” He’d had enough of being second-guessed and treated like a delicate flower. Rafael had gone to the party to get laid and he would be damned if some minor, unimportant details would keep him from finally getting fucked. 

Peter didn’t say anything, he just repositioned himself, wrapped Rafael’s legs around his own waist, and started to slowly but steadily push into Rafael. The stretch was delicious and skirting the edge of actual pain without tipping over, and Rafael groaned at the feeling of being filled so completely. He fisted the sheets and wrapped his legs tighter around Peter’s hips in an attempt to draw him closer, deeper, faster. 

“Christ, you feel amazing,” Peter said, his breath coming in short puffs of air. He shook a little, clearly fighting for control. And while Rafael admired Peter’s self-restraint and consideration, Peter’s exceptional control was actually what stood between Rafael and a truly spectacular orgasm. 

“Dammit, Peter, move. You’re killing me here,” Rafael groaned, and tilted his hips at the same time as he pulled Peter closer again with his legs. Peter bottomed out and both of them groaned; the sensation was just absolutely breathtaking. 

“I think we might have to revisit the question of how often we can make each other come tonight because I don’t think I can last.” Peter’s voice was hoarse. He rolled his hips, fucking into Rafael at a languid pace, but Rafael wasn’t complaining. It would probably be over even quicker if Peter started pounding him for real. 

Maybe going slow Rafael would get to enjoy the sparks of arousal that danced up his spine like electricity for a little while longer. “I’m not gonna last either,” Rafael replied, and ran his hands up Peter’s arms until he could push his hands into his hair. He pulled Peter down for a messy, passionate kiss at the same time he dug his heels into Peter’s ass, stalling his movements. 

Peter hissed and panted but stayed still. 

After a moment of both of them catching their breaths, Peter slipped his hands underneath Rafael’s shoulder blades and curled his fingers over his shoulders from behind. He leaned in close, breath ghosting hotly over Rafael’s skin as Peter nosed against the side of his jaw. Then, in an incredible display of strength and control, Peter pulled Rafael’s upper body off the bed and settled him firmly onto his lap. 

Rafael groaned and arched his back as his cock rubbed against Peter’s chest and their bodies were pressed together more intimately than ever before. The change in position had allowed Peter to slip into Rafael even deeper and Rafael shamelessly rode the wave of pleasure that came with the additional pressure against his prostate. He threw his head back and tilted his hips, enjoying the feeling of being completely impaled on Peter’s cock as Peter leaned forward and trailed a row of kisses down Rafael’s throat. 

“I’ve got you,” Peter whispered against Rafael’s skin, and it was such a strange thing to say, such a tender, intimate promise as he was being cradled in Peter’s arms that it caught Rafael completely off guard. Never before in his life had he felt protected or cared for while in bed with someone. It had always been Rafael in control, then. 

Not that Rafael had would have wanted this kind of thing with anyone, before. It was an alien thought, the possibility of actual intimacy between him and one of his one-night-stands. But there, in that room, in the strange bubble he and Peter had created, it didn’t feel alien at all. The world outside their hotel room seemed distant and meaningless; all that mattered right now was them and the strange sort of magic that seemed to surround them. Never in a million years would Rafael have guessed that something that had started out as an agreement to a night of sex with no strings attached would turn into one of the most intimate and pleasurable experiences of his whole life. 

Peter pulled Rafael close again and his strong hands cradled Rafael’s neck, their breath mingling as Rafael let himself be held, his own hands resting loosely on Peter’s sides. They kissed, slow and languid, but the tingle along Rafael’s spine was back and he knew he wouldn’t last much longer. Peter’s hands moved to Rafael’s ass, lifting him slightly before letting Rafael sink back onto his hard cock, and Rafael knew he was lost. The friction was delicious, the combination of being fucked on Peter’s cock while being cradled so carefully was dizzying, and Rafael was suddenly acutely aware of all the restrained strength contained in Peter’s body. It was a heady feeling. 

It was all for him. _Peter_ was doing all of it for him. Everything Peter had done had been for Rafael’s pleasure. 

Another alien concept. 

All thoughts fled when Peter repeated his actions and Rafael’s orgasm hit him like a freight train, sudden and sharp and almost painful in its intensity. He groaned, coming untouched as he spilled between their bodies, turning both of them into a sticky mess. Peter gasped, his own release triggered by Rafael’s orgasm and the clenching of Rafael’s body all around him. 

It took a moment for both of them to catch their breath, but then Rafael leaned over and claimed Peter’s mouth in another slow kiss. “Wow, that was something else,” Rafael murmured against Peter’s lips, and he meant it. What had happened between them was so far out of Rafael’s range of experience it wasn’t even in the same zip code any more. 

Truth be told, Rafael wasn’t even really sure what exactly it was that had happened between them just now. He only knew what it hadn’t been: casual, meaningless fucking. 

Peter chuckled warmly against Rafael’s neck, a light, happy sound that went straight to the pit of Rafael’s stomach and made itself at home there. “That’s one way to put it,” Peter said, and the smile that accompanied his words was full of fond amusement. 

Rafael smiled back, completely mesmerized by the look on Peter’s face, his smile, the gentle trail of fingers down his spine. Warmth spread through Rafael’s body and it had nothing at all to do with the fact that he’d just been thoroughly fucked. He made to climb off of Peter’s lap but Peter’s grip on him changed instantly, holding Rafael in place without restraining him. 

“Wait, let me,” Peter said, and in the next second he slowly lowered Rafael onto the bed again, the sheets cool against Rafael’s heated skin. But instead of merely moving away, Peter leaned down and started kissing down Rafael’s chest as he slipped from his body. Rafael instantly missed him, the feeling of come dripping out of his ass as unpleasant and unwelcome as ever. As much as Rafael loved going bare being filled up with another guy’s come, he really detested cleanup after. 

A tongue swirling around his navel brought Rafael’s thoughts up short, and he lifted his head to watch in fascination as Peter lapped at the mess he’d made of his stomach when he’d come. 

Conscious of being watched, Peter sat up and grinned at Rafael as he wiped at his chin. “I just wanted a real taste of you.”

“You’re weird,” Rafael mock complained, and patted the space beside himself on the bed. “Come on, let’s rest for a moment before we need to take a shower.” 

“Didn’t think you’d be a cuddler,” Peter teased, but settled in close to Rafael. The warmth of his body was strangely comforting as he wrapped his arms loosely around Rafael. 

“I’m not,” Rafael replied, but it lacked heat. He leaned into the soft caress of Peter’s fingertips on his skin and closed his eyes. They still had the rest of the night after all.

* * *

Rafael drifted awake slowly, the world coming into focus in washed out hues of gray, courtesy of the early morning light streaming through a crack in the curtains. Peter was pressed up against him from behind, spooning him, and Rafael took a moment to enjoy the feeling of being cradled by strong arms and a muscular body. 

It was a huge surprise to Rafael that he had managed to sleep that long, let alone managed to get any sleep at all in the arms of another person. Rafael usually required space to sleep, and a lot of it. Being touched by someone in sleep, feeling them move, normally never failed to wake him and he’d throw however dared to crowd him out of his room. Only this time it wasn’t his hotel room and Rafael hadn’t been bothered by Peter touching him at all. In fact, Rafael felt more content, sated and above all _rested_ than he had in practically forever. 

He shifted slightly, hoping to get a look at Peter while he was still asleep, but Peter’s face was nestled into the nape of Rafael’s neck, even breath ghosting along his skin, and it was no use; all Rafael managed was to wake him. Peter’s fingers, which had been curled loosely against Rafael’s stomach under the sheet, straightened and splayed against his skin, gentle pressure holding Rafael in place. A kiss was pressed to the spot right beneath Rafael’s ear and he smiled as a wave of warmth and affection rolled through his body. 

“Hey there,” Peter murmured. He moved against Rafael slowly, stretching like a cat, before he propped himself up on his right elbow to look at Rafael properly. There was something soft and almost vulnerable about him and it hit Rafael like a kick to the stomach. He had never before associated Peter’s angular, almost aristocratic features with anything other than a strong mind and the stubborn determination to do what needed to be done. To see things through to the end, no matter the cost for Peter himself. 

But that wasn’t the man that looked down at him with a fond, almost tender expression on his face. This was Peter with his guard down, soft and pliable in the early morning light. Rafael briefly wondered how many people had actually had the privilege to see him like that. The thought that someone else had been allowed to look behind Peter’s mask sent a sharp spark of jealousy through Rafael and he stomped it down viciously.

What a ridiculous thought. 

“Hey yourself,” Rafael replied and shifted so he was on his back with Peter pressed up to his side. It made looking at Peter a lot easier. “Looks like we fell asleep and didn’t shower after all,” Rafael said and reached up to push a hand through Peter’s hair; it was sticking up at odd angles giving him a serious case of bed-head. 

“We could shower together,” Peter said with a smile. “I made sure to book a room with a huge shower stall.” There was a mischievous glint in his eyes and Peter’s left hand slipped from beneath the covers to capture Rafael’s wrist. He pulled Rafael’s hand to his mouth, kissed and tongued the palm before he linked their fingers. Rafael exhaled slowly, sparks dancing all over his skin again as he looked at their linked hands.

It took Rafael’s fogged brain a moment to process what he was seeing but when it did register, something in Rafael’s chest froze. “Madre de Dios,” he hissed and scrambled to sit up. He almost hit Peter in the face by doing so. Rafael’s heart was racing, and his vision swam briefly as he stared at the delicate navy-blue swirl that wound itself around Peter’s left wrist. 

“Rafael?” Peter sounded alarmed now. “What’s wrong?”

Rafael stared at his own left wrist where the same swirl marked his skin, an intricate design, beautiful like an expertly inked tattoo but with such a tremendous amount of meaning behind it. The innocuous looking little thing that was staring Rafael in the face almost accusingly was a brand new _bonding mark._

Peter, who had followed Rafael’s line of sight gasped and turned white as a sheet. “That’s impossible! We’re red tags. We can’t be mated.” Peter’s voice was high pitched and panicky, his eyes wide and frantic. He looked, for all intents and purposes, like a trapped animal. Peter pushed his hands through his hair and his breath hitched as he stammered, “Oh my god, what have we done?” 

“We’ve mated for life,” Rafael replied, falling back to his tried and true method of sarcasm when faced with disaster. “I didn’t see that one coming.” Rafael took a few deep breaths in the attempt to calm himself and think more clearly. 

_Less than twenty-five._ That had been the estimate of people worldwide that Rafael would be compatible to mate with. No more than two dozen people on the whole planet. They might as well have said none at all, considering a current population of about 7.6 billion people worldwide. Peter had said he’d been tested with a .1 specification rate which probably put his results for possible matches in the low six figure range. Peter was right, their chances at being a match had been so low they probably couldn’t even be calculated. 

Rafael threw Peter a glance. His mate was a picture of utter misery. Peter was hunched into himself, his left wrist cradled in his right hand, thumb rubbing over the bond mark absently. He looked lost and alone, and something inside of Rafael surged with a sort of protective instinct like he’d never felt before. 

Peter looked up, startled, and Rafael realized that he must have felt an echo of his feelings. 

“Tell me what to do and I’ll do it. This is my fault anyway. If I hadn’t wanted a bond so badly you might not even have let me fuck you. You must have felt this, from me, when the initial connection was made. God, I should have never gone to that party in the first place.” Peter scrubbed his hands over his face and a fine tremor ran through his body. 

Another surge of protectiveness rushed through Rafael and he sighed. Peter’s self-blame was completely misplaced and not helpful to the current situation. 

“Peter? Look at me, please.” Rafael moved closer to Peter on the bed and touched his hand to Peter’s bare chest lightly. 

“Yes?” Peter’s voice was hoarse, his eyes red rimmed and slightly moist. He was clearly fighting with his feelings and Rafael didn’t like the _guilt_ Peter had written all over him, not at all. 

“Could you stop blaming yourself for a moment and think about this rationally?” Rafael asked, deliberately gentle. “I told you I wanted you to fuck me before we even had kissed for the first time, let alone anything else had happened. You asked me, repeatedly I might add, if I was really on board with what we were doing. To be perfectly honest, I think if you had asked for my explicit consent one more time I might have snapped at you. I can’t remember anyone taking this kind of consideration with me, ever.” Rafael fixed Peter with his gaze, willing him to understand what Rafael was saying, willing him to _believe_. 

“This bond isn’t your fault. We’re both responsible in equal measures. We both agreed to do this unprotected. We both knew about the risks, small as they were. And believe me when I say, I’ve been longing for a bond probably for a lot longer than you. That doesn’t mean I willed it into existence, and neither did you.”

“You wanted a bond, too?” The sliver of hope in Peter’s voice broke Rafael’s heart. 

“Yes, I did. I still do. Very much so. But I’m prepared to walk away if that’s what you need me to do. You’ve just started with SVU, so I’m in a much better position to pack up and leave to get the emotional connection to break and the mark to fade. If that’s what we decide on, though, we should stay in contact, make sure we don’t re-trigger the bond.” Rafael avoided Peter’s eyes. He got very mixed feeling from his mate. Hope and longing but also still a fair amount of guilt and above all crippling fear. 

Rafael thought that a bit of physical distance might do them both good, so he slowly stood from the bed and reached for his underwear. He was torn between begging Peter to give the bond, to give _them_ , a chance, and making good on his word and walking away without a fuss if that was what Peter wanted. There was a very real possibility that Peter, despite having longed for a bond so fiercely, wouldn’t want to be bonded to Rafael. Just because they had stumbled upon each other by sheer dumb luck and had ended up an unlikely match didn’t mean they needed to stay together. Sometimes your only option wasn’t your best option. 

There was movement behind him from the direction of the bed and then Peter was there, large hands gentle on Rafael’s upper arms, stilling his movements. Rafael could feel Peter’s body heat, his hesitation but also fierce determination. Peter was going to fight for them, of that Rafael was suddenly very certain. 

“Please, don’t leave,” Peter said quietly. He leaned down and started to trail a row of kisses onto Rafael’s left shoulder. “Let’s find a way to make this work. We’ve been given the chance of a lifetime. We’ve both found a mate when, realistically, this should never have happened. I know I’m probably not what you would have looked for, but if you’re willing I’d like for us to try.” 

Rafael tilted his head, searching for Peter’s lips for a kiss. Peter obliged and the coiled tension that seemed to radiate off of him receded a bit. It seemed that their bond was working beautifully, the physical closeness not only enhancing the empathic connection between them but also serving to give them back a sense of control. 

After a moment of sharing slow, sweet kisses Rafael turned around in Peter’s arms until they were face to face, chests touching, just sharing space and body heat. It was intimate in a way Rafael couldn’t describe, but it felt so good, so utterly _right_ , that he just basked in the feeling for a moment. 

“You’re wrong, you know?” Rafael said quietly after a moment. “You’re everything I want in a mate. Everything I would have looked for, had I allowed myself to have that dream. You’re a good man, Peter, I knew that even before we got accidentally bonded. I knew I could trust you with my body, with my safety, when I decided to come here with you. I never expected you to be anything but honorable and possibly brutally honest. What I didn’t expect was for you to make yourself so vulnerable. That’s probably what surprised me most.” 

Rafael had started to run his hands along Peter’s chest soothingly, so he felt the exact moment when Peter tensed up. Peter frowned and looked at the floor, avoiding Rafael’s gaze. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I didn’t do anything out of the ordinary. We came here, we discussed terms, and then we had some pretty mind-blowing sex that got us locked into a lifelong mating bond.” He glanced back at Rafael as if to gauge his reaction. “I mean, we obviously didn’t plan on that part but otherwise, why would you think I was vulnerable?” 

Fear tinged the bond between them again and Rafael was acutely aware how thin the ice was he was moving on. One misstep and he might hurt Peter in ways he couldn’t even properly comprehend yet. Not without knowing what it was that had Peter acting in the way he had the previous night. 

“Maybe not exactly _vulnerable_ ”, Rafael amended, scared that he would accidentally hurt Peter in his attempt to get to the bottom of the issue at hand. Peter had been plenty vulnerable the previous night, on more than one occasion. But it was also clear that he wouldn’t admit to it since he viewed it as a sign of weakness. Or maybe as a chance for Rafael to actually hurt him, badly. “Cautious, maybe?”

Rafael took a deep breath, trying to sort his thoughts. “From the moment we stepped into this hotel room you’ve been very much in control, very conscious of your actions.” Rafael ran his hand up Peter’s arm and cupped his neck, coaxing him to look back at Rafael with gentle pressure. “You’ve done everything in your power to make me feel safe and cared for. You were ready to call this whole thing off at the slightest indication of me not being on board with everything that was happening between us.” 

“That’s not cautious, that’s basic courtesy,” Peter replied, his voice tight. There was something in his inflection, in the way Peter had subtly angled his body away from Rafael that spoke of deep-rooted fear and pain. 

Rafael thought he had seen a glimpse of that on more than one occasion the night before. 

“All right,” Rafael said, coming to a decision. He didn’t like the way Peter had paled any more than he liked the sudden coldness of the skin beneath his fingertips. And yes, maybe he had spent too much time working SVU, but Rafael would’ve bet he’d just tripped some sort of switch in Peter. One that Rafael needed to figure out in time to avoid doing more damage. 

“I’m sorry for bringing this up. It’s just that no one has been this … thoughtful before. I didn’t want to imply you’d done anything wrong.” Rafael kept his voice deliberately soft as he looked at Peter, searching his face for more signs of discomfort.

Peter nodded, once, and wrapped Rafael in a tight embrace. There was still a good amount of unease coming over their bond, but Peter seemed to relax in increments. 

“How about we go back to bed, _cariño mio_?” The endearment slipped out without conscious thought. “I’m getting a bit cold, standing around naked.”

“And you say you’re not a cuddler,” Peter mocked, but released Rafael and climbed back under the covers. Rafael followed him a moment later. 

“Because I’m not,” Rafael shot back with a grin. 

“You tell yourself that,” Peter replied, and opened his arms so Rafael could settle against him. 

Rafael rested his head on Peter’s chest, next to his heart, and tangled their legs together. It was a nice feeling, secure and content, with Peter’s steady heartbeat in his ear. They lay there for a while, just quietly being with each other while Peter traced invisible patterns into the skin on Rafael’s shoulder. 

“I’m sorry for getting defensive,” Peter suddenly said. The movement of his fingers didn’t stop and nothing but the slight tension coming over their bond indicated that Peter was uncomfortable. 

“Don’t be,” Rafael replied. “It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have pried. Everyone has things they’d rather not talk about. I’m no exception. And I know we’ll need to talk about my issues at some point in the future. But it can wait. We have time. Just-” Rafael broke off and lifted his head to look at Peter properly. “I’m here if you ever want to talk about … whatever it is that hurt you. I’d like to know, so I won’t make the same mistake and hurt you, too. But just so we’re clear: You never were and never will be just a warm body to me. You’re the best thing to happen to me and I’m glad I found you.”

Peter smiled and cupped Rafael’s neck as he pulled him down for a heated kiss. 

“You did just call me-” Peter started but Rafael interrupted him. 

“ _My love_ , yes. I did. Don’t ask me to never do it again because I don’t think I can promise you that. I didn’t even think about it, it just came out. It’s true, though, I think. I’m falling in love with you.”

Peter rolled his eyes at him in an overly dramatic way. “That’s the bond talking, Rafa.” 

Warmth spread through Rafael at the nickname and he grinned. “Uh, I wouldn’t be so sure about that. I remember clearly how bad I felt about being attracted to the guy who was brought in to prosecute me and who got my job after I left. I even talked to McCoy about you, tried to find out more about you than the ‘Ben Stone’s son’ drivel everyone was going on about. I told you, Peter, I knew you were a good person when I decided to go to your hotel with you.”

Peter seemed surprised. “You talked to Jack about me? He didn’t tell me.”

“Because I asked him not to,” Rafael interrupted. “Now, we can keep talking about how I tried to find out more about you when all I had to do was give you a call, or-” Rafael rubbed himself against Peter’s thigh in a very unmistakable manner. “Or you can fuck me again.” 

Peter grinned and cupped Rafael’s ass in his hands. “Just how sore are you, Rafa?”

Rafael chuckled. “Not much. I think that might be a perk of our shiny new bond.” He leaned down and kissed Peter softly, enjoying their closeness. 

“You think?” Peter asked amusedly, grinning against Rafael’s lips. “In that case, let’s make it last this time.” 

Rafael couldn’t wait.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you, Maggie, for cheering me on. I promise there are no tears in there. ;) Alyssa, I'm impossibly pleased that I managed to bring you on board this ship. It's been a real pleasure to "convince" you.


End file.
